...

::SIGH::

i'm a terrible person

two nights ago
i shit you not
i had a dream
that bob uecker
the man behind
the voice of baseball
at miller park
DIED

and yesterday
it was on my mind
all day
what would baseball
in my life
be like without
BOB UECKER?
it would be terrible

last night
in the bottom of the 8th
i disclosed this with jennell
in the midst of so many fans
and bob uecker himself
at miller park
i told her of my dream
and we discussed how baseball would change
she said not much, there'd be other commentators
on the radio

but for me
it's so much different
bob uecker is a legend
to milwaukee
40 years!

and then i find out
he will have heart surgery
on friday
removing him from baseball
and the radio
for 10-12 weeks

i feel to blame
entirely
shoulda kept my mouth shut
baseball superstition at its finest, folks

FUCK

april 26th, 2010

on this day
casey mcgehee hit a grand slam at miller park
against the pirates
i memorized carlos gomez' batting ritual
i shared 12 hot dogs with my best friend
and felt pretty decent after the fact
i got my 2nd career BP home run ball
in left field
hit by a pirate
took photos of ballhawk shawn
great friend
greater ballhawk
wore a dress to a baseball game
sat by a ton of great little kids at the game
including a 3 year old
that we taught how to throw up the horns
cause that's punk rock
made a lot of funny faces
and serendipitously ran into
a kid that we saw the last time we took the bus to a game
and exchanged names, formally, this time
successful. very.

i am happy with life
today is another dress day for me

and i can't get you out my head

living with zombies, invincible

you
are you
wonderful are you
wonderfully caring you
you are wonderful
you are
you

i am enamored
by this boy
and his comic collection
and how he cares
to make me laugh
he shares those comics with me
and i want to hold his hand so badly
i get all sorts of anxious around him

and i still cannot stop listening to astronautalis
i want warm weather-NOW
cause dresses are chilly in this shit
and i want to wear them so badly
brewers game tomorrow
to take photos for shawn's blog
and tomorrow night, seeing jordan
:] which is lovely

marvel saga

"The time has come" Miss Crystal said
"To dream of many things"
"Of DOOM & Hulk & Squirrel Girl"
"Of Magneto & The Thing"
"And why Human Torch is boiling hot"
"And whether Grasshopper has wings..."

<3

spent last night reading comic books
by myself
at brewing grounds
didn't stop
til i realized it was 2am
and that i should maybe go home and sleep

::sigh::
round 2, this afternoonski

deadpool

with my head on your shoulder
you grab my hand
and kiss my forehead
so adoringly
i look up at you
for reassurance
and you smile

bought a new dress today
upon hearing news that the house
we wanted is no longer available
:[
jordan asked what it looks like
"besides pretty...'cause that's a given on you"

i've been blasting astronautalis in my car all day
such win

4:45am

A shoulder to lean on
Not for the sake of sympathy
But to allow me to rest my eyes
Is something I could get used to

Tonight ruled.
Aqua Teen.
Mighty Boosh.
Goblin Sharks.
Frilled Shark.
Showing off scars.
Cold Hands.
Warm eyes.
Cold nose.
Warm smile.

All while Astronautalis
Sang songs
About what I want to have
In life

I'm so damn happy.

Last night Ann Coulter saved my life

I've been wearing skirts and dresses a lot lately
Less restricting
I feel good in them
And people notice that I am in a different mood

Madonna makes me want to dress like this
I've been listening to a lot of her music lately

Last night I put fake blood on my face and neck
And did zombie dances until twilight
With a bunch of comrades
Who also hate Ann Coulter
We laughed and sang
And changed the lyrics to our favorite songs
To be about zombie solidarity
And then we sang New York Taxi...
And it reminded me of how dearly I love my life
This city is something so great
Milwaukee
Just the sound of that
It's enough to make me smile
Soy de Milwaukee
And this is where I belong
And all my friends sing the same songs I sing
And link arms to chant those words
To scream "fuck" at the top of our lungs
With rolled up windows
To denounce public displays of affection
I don't have this with anyone else, anywhere else
I have it in my lovely city of Milwaukee
:] :] :] :] :]

Squirrel Girl may have met her Deadpool, folks.
Could be an interesting summer
Tune in for the next issue!

I am

Happy
Being
Single

Have been

But some days...
I just miss certain things
I miss summer mornings
Waking up in your bed
Under a big red blanket
The cool morning breeze through the windows
The sound of little kids at summer camp
You left a note full of love
On the end table

I appreciated it
All of that

My pieces are still broken, I'm afraid :[
I think about the wrong person when I think of loving
Somebody I'm not allowed to love anymore
Somebody who stopped loving me
All of that weird, fucked up, circumstantial shit

BREWING GROUNDS NEEDS LOVE!

http://kck.st/bDKUgR

Donate to Brewing Grounds
via our Kickstarter
and get awesome rewards
for your generosity!
The more you donate,
the better reward you'll receive!
So click the link I posted above
for details on how to help!

<3 LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE

passive aggressive woman rant

i hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate this bullshit.
jesus fuck.

how can you go from caring SO fucking much
and then become so blinded by the opposite gender?
to the point where you neglect your priorities!

what sucks is that i told you that you were
one of my best friends
that you were so dear to me

and you're throwing away all of your friends
FOR NOTHING

don't worry-brewing grounds will still be here
when your beloved is no longer

also, thanks for spreading rumors that we're closing
fucking douchebag

i've spent the last 14 months
being THAT GIRL
the one who can't help but love you
the one you love but can't help

and maybe it's not love
the things you've told me
all of those secrets
whispered with heavy eyelids

in fact i've ruled that it isn't

love is so many things
that we don't share
at least not anymore
or perhaps never shared

i think you should leave now
i would leave myself
if i didn't have the key
needed to lock the door behind me

in fact
just leave
love wasn't even
worth mentioning

a walking memoir

joe-to-go has started writing his memoir
of how he's spent about 3 years
pining after a married woman
to no avail

it's sparked a lot of thoughts
of my own life
and how much time you can spend
on somebody
and still not mean to them
what they mean to you

i look at photographs of us
very seldom
because i've removed my name from them
i'm the anonymous-

i just realized where i was going with this
and i'm going to skip all the poetic bullshit this time
because i don't need to think about this any further
'cause i'm honestly over it


just know that if i ever see you again...
it will be like facing my very own mobile memoir
and the mere thought of that truly worries me
because i am unsure of how to handle myself
in front of the person you are today


the smell of rain is a favorite
bring it, april

i had a dream...

"it was pointless
i'm not even sure why i remember it"

i went to the brewers game
and i found out you ended up going to
see the box elders
because you had updated via your cellphone
on facebook
"is having a miserable time at the box elders show"
and i looked at lauren & said
"we gotta go rescue her"

"what? that's not a pointless dream at all!"




on a different note:
i think i want to sing stuff
and play the harmonica
be an american badass

ok, i'm joking about the last line
but the other stuff
i kinda really wanna do
and have kinda really started doing
summer goal #2
i rule

well well well

in the past 4 days
katie told us she was moving back to chicago
and then told us she had changed her mind

it feels good to know that she's gonna stay
i was genuinely worried about life after her
she's such a crucial part of brewing grounds
somebody that i rely on a lot for support
in all endeavors
she's really great
and feels so deeply for brewing grounds

she, jennell & i have dubbed ourselves
"the triforce"
so true
we love brewing grounds
and baby, brewing grounds loves us back

i am having a friend from STL visit at the end of the month
i try so hard to swear to myself that i won't do the
"long distance" bullshit again
but the persistence...5 years of persistence
is something that doesn't go unnoticed
beyond the realm of physical attraction
lies that connection
someone who's seen me grow up into
the beautiful, responsible albeit youthful little lady that i am now
and has consistently cared for me throughout it all

simon & nicole got married yesterday
that rules so hard
and sincerely makes me happy all over
nicole has been like a big sister to me
to see her finally find somebody worth her time
able to rival the level of awesome that she exudes
is so reassuring
that maybe someday i can find that
and find contentment that never fades
to be different from what the majority of my peers will be like
the way simon talks about nicole
is so adorable
and vice versa
it is not perfect
as there is really no such thing
but what they have is truly genuine
and has been on my mind a lot lately

goodnight, milwaukee
love sleeping in you.