the truth is...

i'm scared.
of a lot of things right now.
i maintain composure, mostly.
and i am excited, don't get me wrong.
but also terrified.

cutting the tie between family and self.
becoming an actual adult.

my cell phone isn't turning on.
i owe milam 300 dollars for a security deposit.
soundset is next sunday.
i go to berkeley next week.
i don't even know why.
i'm staying in milwaukee.
the visit might be cleansing
who knows.

i don't have 300 dollars.
i have 18.50 until friday.
i tried asking my mom for a little help.
no response.

i want to take a nap
but can't
because my cell phone is my alarm
and i am scared i won't get up in time for work
if i let myself nap a bit

last night i dressed as an Ewok
and roamed the east side
with my best friends
it was lovely
i got a lot of hugs
i always feel happier when i'm something else
that sucks
becoming less comfortable with yourself
hopefully this summer things will readjust

more biking.
take more hours at target.
temporarily hate my existence.
new house.
new roommates.
new landlord.
new cell phone.
new job.
sell car.
bike more.
keep giving brewing grounds my love.


my stomach hurts today.

Revenge of the Fifth...of May

Today's May 5th
Cinco de Mayo
Which is a great thing to celebrate
But yesterday was Star Wars Day
And I'd like to carry that on further into May
So today is...
REVENGE OF THE FIFTH

Hit the jump below to a cool video of a cockatiel
whistling the imperial march.
I'm gonna go sip on some virgin margaritas
and channel my inner Sith.